Four Tips for Overcoming Setbacks

We have all been there. Life isn’t going how we expected or planned. Pretty common in fact. As much as we try to plan every detail of our lives, life doesn’t always follow that plan. Sometimes it’s small things that are easy to remain encouraged and focused through as we adjust, but other times it’s pretty large and not as simple. I’ve recently overcome a larger set back (I’ve faced quite a few…. this is just the most recent!). I’ve had to take myself to a more positive place. Falling off a horse going about 30 some mph and landing on the right side of my back typically does not end well! Transverse spine fractures was the end result. One of the days in physical pain and seeming like I couldn’t do much and unsure when it would get better, I got in a “funk” so to speak. It wasn’t fun and definitely not productive. I was frustrated and focusing on all the wrong things, so I pretty much wasted the day drowning in my own self sorrow. It happens, and I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I wish I had changed my mindset sooner, but all I could do was learn from it for next time. I could not work out, do things around the house, and at the time I had no idea how long I would be in this condition. I knew my body could take two months to heal, but would there be long term effects?? It’s funny though how I was just complaining about how I had no time to work on things I wanted to make happen, like my website, writing, etc. Guess who had that kind of time and was not taking advantage of it? Me. My main point being that life is going to throw things at you that aren’t planned, but we can find the blessing in it if we look. I am not permanently injured, pretty lucky to not have any serious damage because I could. I will recover with time maybe not back to before the accident, but so far there’s just some pain and different sensation about five months out. Here’s my tips for overcoming set backs:

Don’t let your circumstance overwhelm you. There are uncertainties in life, and there always will be. Just because one derails us from what we think the plan should be doesn’t mean we can’t adapt and work with a new plan. Sometimes the things we view as unfortunate can help guide us to something better, and we never would have gotten there without the circumstance happening. We can make something good even out of bad.

Try to keep a positive view. Key word try. It’s hard, especially when it’s a larger event. Take it day by day and do your best. That is really all we can do. If it didn’t work, and we can acknowledge that we can also change it. For instance, my view on transverse spine factures (not major just painful) one of the days was I had no clue how long I was going to be unable to do things, I was uncomfortable, frustrated, irritated, and I pretty much made myself miserable all day. Realizing what I did the next day, I didn’t want to be like that again for that day. I made myself take a little bit of time to think and organize my thoughts and focus on the good. I had time to get things done that I was complaining I didn’t have the time to do just days before. Don’t give up and keep going. Challenge yourself to find a way.

Take small steps. It doesn’t always have to be big steps. Small consistent steps to overcoming any set back is realistic. Find small goals that will get you back on track and over the set back. Try and if you fail or something doesn’t work, devise a new plan. Failure is not a sign to give up. It’s a sign to try something different. Figure out what will work. Be willing to try something new and different. Set small achievable goals to get you going in the right direction.

Be understanding and forgiving of yourself. This is a big one. I continued to go up and down for a little bit because it seemed as I started to get back, something else happened. I would have stayed down a lot longer if I hadn’t forgiven myself and known that these circumstances weren’t permanent. I got off track with my thinking and became more easily frustrated, upset, and less giving. At one point, I went into almost complete shut down mode because the hits kept on coming! I’d been injured, got sidetracked from my fitness goals, lost a friend unexpectedly, had issues with kids and family, and the list goes on. For a good few days I lamented over those and struggled to do basic things. It took all my energy to get things like dinner done. In previous times, I used to almost get more frustrated with myself, like “why can’t you just get it together like every one else” or “I just don’t have time for this”. Well sometimes grieving or recovering is what we need. It’s ok! I needed time to process my own emotions instead of shoving them down to resurface and show their ugly head later. I slowly got back to a routine and made slow, healthy progression. Most importantly, I stopped beating myself up and allowed my body to do what it could when it could. Normally when I get derailed from my progress it takes me months to recover and even longer to get back to it. Not this time! I’ve forgiven the time I’ve needed and not stayed down. It was a struggle, but I DID IT! Normally getting knocked off the horse (maybe some pun intended since that is exactly how I injured myself to begin with) meant I was staying off for a while. Not this time, though for the time being I am actually staying off my horse. However, I’m all over the figurative horse! For those who need to hear it, be patient (so tough I know), and allow time!