One thing you may be missing for starting the New Year right

We are getting ready to start a new year. As much as I focus on what my next year will look like, make plans and goals, and do all the things everyone else does, there’s something I want to put out there to leave the unhealthy in 2018 and start 2019 with a mindset for success and optimal health. It’s not what I normally think of for going into a new year, but it’s been weighing on my mind. When I think about where bitterness, anger, sadness, the “chip on the shoulder” or grudge, or other emotions we can live in too long, I think about what isn’t healed or where forgiveness hasn’t been given. How great would it be to leave that baggage in the end of the year and start the year with a healthy mind and the weight lifted??

I feel bitterness and anger hang around when we don’t allow wounds to heal or forgive others. Let me be clear emotions all of them are normal. We should experience a range of emotions. Where I feel there is an issue is when those emotions stay for an extended period and start to affect how you live and react in your life and to others around you. I’ve been guilty of hanging onto my forgiveness for others and not allowing wounds to heal. I had this thought that me forgiving them allowed the situation to be “blown off” and gave the other person a “free pass” so to speak. Also, I just wasn’t aware how much it was impacting me when I wasn’t intentional about it. There were times I wasn’t even intentionally not forgiving someone, I just didn’t realize what was even going on. I have lived in a negative place where I’ve been bitter and angry for YEARS. My hope is to bring awareness and have others not live that same pattern. Ever heard the quote that goes along the lines “hanging onto bitterness and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die?” I believe Buddha is credited with that quote. Basically, you’re hurting yourself. Having these unhealed situations or wounds causes negative reactions and a space where bitterness and anger can over stay their welcome.

I believe even staying in the state of unforgiveness can lead to a victim mentality, which I have lived as well for a good part of my life. I don’t blame any one or anything for where I am or where I’ve been. Depending on how long we have hung onto things, may impact how long it takes to sort through. In my case of allowing years of hurts and wounds to build up, it took years of soul searching, self- reflection, and lots of emotions to get to a better place. The progress kept me going because as I started unpacking all the junk, I felt lighter. I found me again. I had gotten pretty lost. I found a light and hope again. There was a lot of forgiving. Things I’d even held onto that started in my childhood. I even had to forgive me.

My encouragement to you is that it can be done and the work is worth it. You’ll have good days and bad days. I still have days where something small triggers me, and I’m like where did that reaction come from?? Once I sort through it, it goes back to an unhealed hurt that doesn’t have much to do with the small situation that just happened. It may not be quite reasonable to heal all things before the end of the year, but at least to start the process and be aware of it is a great start! Start unpacking any built-up baggage. In the long run you will be happier, have more freedom, and have more positive interactions. Sounds like a win to me! I encourage you to look at where you feel some negative emotions have camped out and explore where they’re coming from. Be free and Sparkle up Buttercup!