Judgey Judgerton

I know we are in some really uncertain, scary, fearful, and anxiety inducing times right now. People are dealing with things we’ve never dealt with before, and there are major life changes and stressors. What is hard to see is the increased number of people lashing out or judging from a tiny snapshot of a person or a comment. People harshly critiquing or saying unnecessary, hurtful comments to others. I want to say I completely get it, but I also want to challenge those struggling with this to really stop and examine why that video, image, or comment caused such a reaction in themselves. Take an actual pause and think about what we’re saying and why we’re saying it. Is it actually productive or are we saying it because we’re angry, jealous, lashing out because of other things (stress), or just frustrated and we’re using that instance as an opportunity to put that on someone else.

Let me clarify and put it out there- I am not pretending I achieve this perfectly every day because I do screw things up and say things without thinking. I’m honestly probably going to do this worse in person (sorry if I have- hopefully you kindly said something and I can either clarify or acknowledge I was wrong and that wasn’t my intention), but I can understand why typing a comment quickly is really easy to do and get caught up in. We are in fast paced world. I think one thing we can see in our current circumstance is that although the world is different right now- it’s not ending. We’ve been able to slow down, and things are still carrying on. We’re not having to rush everywhere and rush everything. Take a minute to think before we just fire off that comment. I get not every person or post is going to be for each person. That is ok! I’m not suggesting it should be. However, is it necessary to tear the other person down because you don’t agree? I think there is more value in understanding the difference and the why. We aren’t all meant to agree or like the same thing. That can be a tough thing to accept, but we all do things differently and it’s not necessarily wrong.

If you’ve stopped and thought about why something caused such a reaction and you need more information, a thoughtful and honest DM could be just as effective. Again, this may take a little longer to craft, but it will have a more worthwhile outcome. It may be the education another person needs. It may allow the other person to show you their perspective and reveal actual truth beyond the one minute video clip or the image. There’s so much more than what we see, and it’s easy to get lost in those small little clips. Just remember there’s a lot more behind one picture or video clip.

I realize this will never be perfect for everyone, and I never expect it to be. If we can have actual conversations around these things and acknowledgement of wrongs and respect each other enough to disagree- we might make some ground. Currently, we’re putting a lot of judgement out towards others and for what purpose? I want to encourage each of us before we type or say that comment out of impulse- can we stop and think? Even if it’s not that person you were about to type a mean comment to out of a reaction, can you find something positive first? Can we stop and think before we type? Maybe take that opportunity to think about what’s happening in you and why. There are many different view points and opinions, and in a lot of circumstances, there is no right or wrong answer. People can disagree and it can be ok! We can even take it one step further and instead of firing off something mean, take a minute to build someone else up and write something life giving. I want to close with a last little bit of encouragement and thought from one of my favorites, Brene Brown. “At the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I contributed more than I criticized.” That’s my hope. Let’s build more than we tear down. It’s not impossible- it just takes some time and thinking. It’s all a part of Sparkling up Buttercup!